I've been talking with some students around my own age, and learning a bit about the International Relations courses on Coursera. I should have a decent paycheck coming, and I'm serious about saving money this time.
I don't think Umbra is going to turn up — not unless someone brings her into a shelter. I need to let go for now. I can get another cat at some other point, and either she'll be safe or she'll be found. I've really enjoyed working on this website in the meantime.
Today I went to see the orchestra with the students. I was wiped out this morning — it was a bit cold in my room last night, so I didn't sleep great, and I was trying to hold off on caffeine — but the concert turned out to be really relaxing. A lot of the music was in German, which made it extra fun for me. It reminded me of when my German Studies professor and mentor took us to the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and of the time my Dad and I saw the Hamburg Symphony Orchestra in Hamburg. That was his first time in Europe. Between the orchestra and the bike tour we did in Hamburg, those were the real highlights of the trip — besides just getting to spend time with him. I'll admit it was a bit stressful, but it was great.
Anyway — I'm looking to apply to some universities in Boston, and also to shoot my shot with EF jobs in Germany, Switzerland, or Austria. I always freeze up at the start of job applications, but once I get going I think I'm actually quite decent at it. I used to have so much anxiety about my resume; at this point I think I could genuinely help other people write their first few. Life is funny that way — experience, teaching, doubt, trust. It's really nuts, haha.
I still need to figure out my employment and living plans for August, but I'm feeling really good about June — especially with the help of a few great new friends. I know my longtime friends are cheering me on too, and trusting in myself carries a lot of power. I feel like a bit of a workaholic these days. Not exactly — but even coming close to that would probably surprise some people who know me.
I guess what I'm getting at is that getting better at long-term thinking and planning feels rewarding and positive. It's obviously not always easy, and I can't quite explain it. It's all a little surreal, but life is pretty good for me personally right now. I'm lucky to have what I do and the privilege I have, and I need to focus on myself first — because that's how I'll actually be able to help others the most, rather than trying to do it the other way around.